Part I
There and Back Again and Back One More Time


"Now, you see, here is how it all went. There I was, just sitting in the park eating lunch, when . . . WHOOSH!"
"Did it really go 'whoosh', Fenry?" said Enry.
"It did!" said Fenry, "Now as I was going to say, Ol' Flinty and me, we was shipmates, you see . . . and . . . no . . . wrong story."
"Yes, well . . ." interrupted Enry.
"Quiet! I be tellin' a story here! Now there I was, when . . . BOOM!"
"I thought you said it went 'Whoosh', Fenry."
"No I didn't."
"Look!"
"Just a flesh wound."
"Monty Python?" said Enry.
"Quit interrupting, ermit. Now, there I was, when THWACK!"
"But what happened to 'Boom' and 'Whoosh'?"
"Shut up. Now, I looked above me, and WHAMMY!"
"Whammy?" said Enry, while raising one fuzzy eyebrow.
"Yes, Whammy. Well, there she was: The Kildare Pooka of Balliwog."
"How dreadful," said Enry, sarcastically.
"Well, anyway, the Kildare Pooka of Polliwog!"
"Oh. Polliwog is it now?"
"Yes, Polliwog. Now stop interrupting or else I won't tell my story!"
"hehe"
"No, Enry."
"Ok, Fenry, I'll be quiet."
"So, there we were. Just him and me."
"Fenry, you said it was a her."
"Did not."
"Yes, Fenry, you did."
"Well that just makes it more interesting"
"Hmm.."
"As I was saying, it had the body and head like a goat, and the eyes of a dragon."
"And I'm sure you know what a dragon's eyes look like?"
"I've seen dragons before. Everybody has. We just never told you."
"I'm sure." said Enry.
"Well, the rest of the body looked like a hooman's."
"Human, Fenry."
"That's what I said . . . Hooman."
"This is gonna be a long day."
"Well, the arms were all scraggly and bony. 'Twas a horrible experience."
"And when did this all happen, Fenry?"
"Before I met you, Enry."
"Oh yeah. Just like riding on the Friendly Balrog's back, eating lunch with Smeagol, the time you were beamed up to the Starship Enterprise, and also there was the time when the cow . . . oh no, now I wont even mention Mr. Whoopsie..."
"NO! Silencio. Never talk about Mr. Whoopsie in my presence!"


Part II
The Gerbster's Revenge


"Silencio? C'mon Fenry you know I don't speak none of your German," said the ermit.
"No. I'll go on, now." said Fenry.
"I'm ready if you are." said Enry.
"Well, 'twas the worst thing I'd ever laid me eyes on."
"Fenry, drop the Irish accent."
"What accent do ye be talkin' bout? Anyhow, there it was and there I was. Its big green, glowing eyes, staring at me. Oooooh, it makes my fuzz crawl just talking about it," said Fenry.
"Doesn't sound too scary to me, Fenry."
"Aye, maybe not all too scary now, but wait 'till you hear what's next."
"I can't wait," said Enry.
"Well, all of a sudden . . . hold on . . . give me a moment. Hand me a tissue, will you please, Enry? Thank you," Fenry sniffled once or twice and began again, "Well, all of the sudden, out of nowhere it swooped down, and with its long and googly arms, the Kildare Pooka of Sapsuckafrog jumped out and went off with my twinkie!"
"Oh my. How ever could you withstand such a tragedy?"
"I nearly wet my diaper."
"Well? What did you do?" asked Enry.
"I'll tell you. Just sit down. So, I started to chase this pookie. For he was no longer on the ground, running, but he was jumping from one tree to another. I, with my great gerbster gonzos, climbed the nearest tree, and started after him. Me, leaping from limb to limb, I was one with the daisies now, that I was for sure."
"I'm sure you were, and you always will be, with the tulips."
"Enry, your interrupting me again."
"Sorry, Fenry."
"No you aren't."
"I said I'm sorry, Fenry. I mean it."
"Well, if you really mean it, then I'll go on. There were many animals in this place, all strolling about. I'd say we stirred them up quite a bit. The cows ran a mock."
"Oh dear."
"Killed four chickens."
"How dreadful."
"Mauled my German Shepherd!"
"Fenry! How could you bear it?"
"See this, Enry?" The Gerbster lifted his shirt he wasn't wearing, and continued, "One-hundred percent burly man buffness."
"Looks more like Chia-Chest to me, Fenry."


Part III
A Gerbster makes a Friend


"Pishaw. You're just jealous." said Fenry. "hehe yeah, Fenry. I'm so jealous of the fact that you have more fluff on your thumb than me and Herby put to gether have altogether. I would love to be as fuzzy as you, my dear gerbster friend. Fenry, you are such a pansy."
"You're mocking me, aren't you?"
"Of course not. Fenry! Look! A pooka!"
"Where?"
"You idiot. There's no pooka there." said Enry. The ermit started laughing and he continued laughing for the next half hour.
"Balderdash and gollyfluff." growled Fenry, "Aren't you done yet?"
"Almost, Fenry." Enry kept laughing.
"Now?" asked Fenry, while tapping one foot. All of a sudden Fenry shouted, "Enry!!!! (with 4 !s) A pooka!"
"Hehe," said Enry, who was lying on the ground trying to catch his breath. "Ok, I'm done, now, Fenry. Did you say something, Fenry?"
"A pooka! Run for your life!" shouted Fenry.
"Fenry, you can't do the same joke twice. Fenry? Fenry? Hey! Come back! Oh dear."

Enry had gotten up and turned around to see standing not much further than six feet away, a big, 12-foot tall, horse-like creature, with the body and head of a goat, the eyes of a dragon, and the rest of the body looking just like a hooman . . . er . . . human. It was staring directly at him.

"'Ello, Mister . . . um . . . what might your name be?"
"I am the Kildare Pooka of Bigfatbellihog, but you may call me Icky-icky-icky-bocktang-bochphooey," said the Pooka.
"Okay, icky-picky-sticky-octane-achooie! I am Enry D Ermit, but you may call me 'Enry D Ermit.'"
"Hmm . . . Enry Ermit hard name pronounce. Mind I call you Rodriguez?
"I do."
"Okay, Rodriguez."
"Hey, do you like chess?" asked Enry, trying not to anger the big, 12-foot tall, horse-like creature, with the . . . Pooka.
"Uh, I think so."
"Well, wanna play a game or two?"
"I guess so." said the pooka, "Hey, we can best of friends. That is, at least if its okay with you, Rodriguez."
"Sure, sure." said Enry. A few minutes later, Fenry came back to see Enry and the Pooka playing a nice game of chess.
"Hey!" yelled Fenry. "What..."
"Who's this guy?" asked the Pooka.
"Oh. This thing is Fenry." said Enry. Fenry started laughing. He was rolling on the floor with his limbs waving about everywhere.
"He looks funny and he's weird. I like him!" said the Pooka.
"Yeah," replied Enry, "he's a bit, well, he's a bit awkward you might say."
"Now wait!" said Fenry, who had just gotten up and had somewhat calmed down, "I thought the title of this chapter was 'Part III: A GERB makes a friend.' Now, nowhere does it say a GREEN SMURF makes a friend,"
"Hey!" said Enry, who objected to being called a smurf.
"I am the gerb! That's the ermit!"
"Fenry! Calm yourself! You're foaming again. Fenry?"
"Yesss?"
Enry was no longer looking at Fenry anymore. He was staring at a creature who resembled Fenry in most ways, but now was running round in circles flailing his arms about everywhere, while laughing maniacally and chanting words in a language that not Enry nor the Pooka knew. After an hour of that, Fenry had stopped and sat still. He was just sitting, not even blinking. If it weren't for his eye which was just kinda slightly closing and opening, never shutting or opening all the way, they would have thought him to be dead.

"You're getting that strange twitch in your eye again, Fenry," said Enry. Fenry didn't respond.
"Remember what the doctor told you to do when you got like this?"
"Does he do this often?" asked the Pooka.
"That's right, Fenry. Just clap your hands and think happy thoughts." said Enry. Fenry still didn't move.
"Fenry!" Enry slapped Fenry. Fenry slowly turned his head towards Enry.
"I'm okay, Uncle Enry," said Fenry. "Thank you, Enry, I needed that.
"Mr. Gerbster?" said a voice not yet heard in this story.
"Yes?"
"Who are you?" asked the Pooka.
"I am Glorßétäkka. Remember me, Fenry?"
"Oh dear. Scary Ice-Cream man?"
"Yes, Fenry. Surprised you remembered," said Glorßétäkka. Fenry started running.
"Where's he going?" asked the Pooka.
"Oh, that's just an old friend of his. Come on, let's go home. We can play tennis, chess, and you can spend the night at mine and Fenry's cave, if you want to. You can have Fenry's room if you want, but that place scares me."

- Micah Hale
(written 3 years ago
in 1996, 7th Grade)

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