"And that's what happened, eh?" asked Enry. - Micah Hale
"Sure. Here you go," answered Herby.
"Thank you, Nurse Heimlech. Scalpel?"
"Here's your knife. You're welcome, Dr. Koala-Fuzz."
The ermit stared at the cheep and then continued. "Revolver?"
"Revolver. What do you want with a re—"
The ermit aimed the gun, and the cheep quickly hid under the table. "Pop! Darn bunnies . . ."
"Suction.... tube thingy?'
"Suction tube," said the cheep, as he handed it over to the doctor.
"Gloves? Dr. Ermit, you're supposed to put your gloves on before you start to operate . . ."
"Rubber ducky! I need the rubber ducky! Quickly! Hand me the rubber ducky!"
"What the . . . Okay, okay," sighed the cheep as he handed him to the ermit. "Blood pressure rising rapidly, sir!"
"Quick! Hand me those electric thingies! Clear!"
"Herby, you don't need to 'poomf' for me."
"That was a close one," said the ermit. He held out his fuzzy paw once again. "Five-iron."
"I think the three-wood would be more suitable for this situation."
"Are you questioning my fuzziness?"
"What? What are you talking about you crazy ermit?" shouted the cheep. No response from the ermit. The cheep gave him the five-iron. "Be the club! Go the distance!"
"There we go. Now, the chainsaw?" said the ermit, extending his arm out, once again.
"Chainsaw?" asked the cheep.
"You heard me. Hand it to me."
"Why are you talking in such a funny voice?" asked the cheep as Enry pulled the rope on the chainsaw.
"Your voice. It's so... deep."
"Ah yes. Well, don't all doctors talk this way?"
"Exactly my point."
"You sure you're a doctor? I mean—"
"Of course I am! I've saved lives. I once saved my pet goldfish from drowning."
"Hmm . . ." hmmed Herby while scratching his head.
"Is 'hmmed' a real word, Nurse Herby?"
"No. Don't call me 'Nurse Herby'. Why would you ask?"
"I dunno . . . I just had the weirdest feeling."
"I think you need to sit down, Enry, I think I can take it from here."
"No! Everything is A-Okay, Number One. Under control. I am fully operational. Get it?! HAHA! OPERATIONAL!"
"Yes, yes. Now shut up."
"Yes?" replied the ermit.
"Are you sure you've done everything you're supposed to so far?"
"Yes. Why do you ask?"
"Well . . ."
"Ohhhh . . ." the gerbster groaned. The gerbster was the creature that the ermit and Herby were working on.
"Conscious? What do you mean he's still conscious?" Enry slapped the cheep. "Oh dear. Where am I?" asked Fenry.
"You've been asleep for three days, Mr. Gerb," said Enry.
"You were unconcious for a while . . . you were in a coma," said Herby.
"Or so he would have us believe," interrupted the ermit, while raising one fuzzy eyebrow.
"What the . . ."
"Sorry, Mr. Gerb, but we're having a few technical difficulties as you can see with Dr. Ermit. Please hold on a sec."
"Mr. Gerb," said Enry, "When we found you, you were sprinkled like a donut with small chocolate candies and soaked in Dr. K soda. Wanna explain that for us?"
The gerbster looked confused, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Chickens, perhaps?" said Enry with a large grin on his face.
"What? Oh right. It's all coming back, now."
"What is?" asked the cheep. Then, the gerbster went into his long story.
"Did it really go 'Whoosh', Fenry?" asked the ermit.
"Oh shut up."
"Anyway, there I was when 'THWACK'!"
"What?" asked the gerbster, trying to raise one eyebrow.
"Oh never mind."
"Okay. Now, there I was, in the park, when I saw something hit the ground next to me. It was just a little popped balloon. So, I just thought it was a wee little kid playing around with his wee little water balloons, but no, and to my surprise I looked around and saw a rabbit. Now, this was no ordinary rabbit. He had sharp, pointy teeth . . . like this!" Then, the gerbster took his paw and put it up to his mouth, while forming two rather scary, sharp, pointy, bunny's teeth with his thumb and pinky finger. Somehow.
"It could grip it by the husk . . ." said the ermit.
"What?" asked the gerbster.
"Nothing," said Enry.
"Then, the great battle began. The enemy was fierce, with fangs, claws, and balloons. Terribly frightening, it was. I was flinging little candies and belly button fuzzies at them as fast as I could, but the enemy was gobbling up the ammunition."
"That's nasty," said Herby, with a strange look on his face.
"Meanwhile, Babyzilla was gnawing on my ankles. I didn't know what to do as the Chipmunks of Chumbawumba kept approaching. Then it appeared that they were retreating, like the rabbit had before. 'Oh no!' I thought, 'What now?' They started to float, in the air, towards me! What is it they are gripping in their claws? Tiny water balloons! Haha! Water does not hurt a gerbster. I stood bravely, until . . . the first balloon hit.
"'eep!' I yelled, out loud. Some brownish (somewhat fuzzy) liquid covered me. 'What is this? BIG K soda?' I looked down at an empty can from the little litter-bug critters. It said in small, grey, yet shiny, letters 'BIG K SODA!' It was. I screamed. Not ever in my life time had I ever beheld something so frightening. As I stood there, screaming like a little giddy school girl, I remembered my secret weapon, given to me by my hero of all heros: Xena, Warrior Princess. I was named after her, you know."
"Of course," said Herby.
"Anyway, my secret weapon: the chakram. I threw it and sliced through every balloon. The last thing I remembered was laying in this field as it rained chipmunks all across the land . . ."
"No, I made that up,"
"Right," said Herby.
"Hey, you're in this story, too Herby," said the gerb.
"Am not! Well, maybe I'm just the main character."
I say, "Are you going to eat me?"
"Depends, got any ketchup?" says the monkey.
"aieep!" I scream.
"aieep!" screams Grandma's basket.
"It was a joke," says Fenry, "Do not be scared."
"Not a very good one," I say.
"Right. Well where are you off to?"
"I'm going to my Grandmother's house." That's what I said.
"Mind if I come along? I am sure hungry."
I say, "nonono! Grandma will eat you! Munch on the flowers."
Creature Fenry says, "I am not afraid of your Grandma, but I do like flowers... munch munch munch munch (he was eating now)."
"Grandma, grandma, we have brought you your chickens and your turkey! Are you happy?"
"Grumble grumble," replies Grandma.
"Ah. Well here you go," I say. I gave her the munchy food. "Grandma, you do not look so good today. What a big nose you have!"
"Grumble, grumble, grumble," she replies.
"And Grandma, what big toes you have!"
"Grumble, grumble, grumble," she replies again.
"And Grandma, what big teeth you have!"
"Grumble, grumble, grumble." That was Fenry's tummy. He was very hungry. He munched on Grandma's basket.
"Noo!" I scream.
"Raaaaaaaaaaar!" That was Grandma.
"Do not be afraid, Mr. Tree, I will help you."
"And that's what happened, eh?" asked Enry.
- Micah Hale