I believe chickens and cows were made to live in caves,
The chickens, like the cows, like dark places.
They have small feet.
They are good to eat.
Do we eat bears? No.
That is because they like the snow.
What do you mean, I'm a liar?
Ask anybody. A lot of people agree with me.
Chickens like the caves, because they are cold and damp.
The desert was too hot for them.
Cows like the caves for the same reason,
for there is more grass in these blue, polka-dotted caves.
It is good this season.
More grass for them to eat.
It makes them fat. More for them.
More for us. A lot more meat.
Perhaps our chickens live in a shell?
No. Those chickens are now in Hell.
For the simple crime that they committed.
It cannot be forgiven.
They liked the shells, not the caves.
They'll have to have some time to think to behave.
They were bad, and now they're sad.
If you ever think to do that. First, THINK.
Shells are bad. We do not like them.
Nobody does.
Maybe the ermit crabs do.
But they are just weird for thinking so.

- Micah Hale

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